A Letter to Jennifer

This post is for my niece Jennifer, who is 22 and getting married in October. Jennifer has always said she wants to be a young mother, so I imagine we'll be welcoming cute little Jenns before we know it.

Getting the house ready for a new baby is always a little bit stressful, as the books give you a list a mile long of things you need to do. I've been to the rodeo three times, and have culled that list down to a very short and effective to do list that will keep your prep time short, efficient, and stress free. Here is

Aunt Laurie's Top Ten Ways to Prepare for the Baby Invasion:

1. Don't wallpaper the baby's room. It's frustrating, time-consuming and makes you fight with your husband.
2. Don't stress about bedding for the crib. It doesn't matter what type of bedding you get, the baby will be sleeping right between you and Paul for the first six weeks of its' life.
3. If you don't want something barfed on, get rid of it.
4. The only toys you'll need for the first year are already in your pantry: an empty box, a set of plastic measuring cups and a spoon.
5. If someone asks you what you want for your baby shower, say "diapers" or "a babysitter." They're the most useful baby items you'll ever get.
6. The changing table is part of a conspiracy developed by baby furniture people who want you to think you need more furniture than you actually do. A changing station on top of the dryer works great. And it vibrates.
7. Swings are overrated and they mess up your decor. Better to let the dishes sit, and rock the baby yourself.
8. Stake out a place to stash your carseat, your diaper bag and your breast pump before you bring the baby home. Otherwise you'll be looking at all three on the end of your kitchen table every day for the first year.
9. The crib that converts to a toddler bed is also a conspiracy.
10. There's no point in trying to find a crib that won't make your baby look like a monkey in the zoo. It doesn't exist.

When you're ready for Aunt Laurie's top ten ways to get barf out of your favorite dress, I'll be here for you honey.

Cookies in Bed

My post on March 24th "You Can't Curl Up with a Cup of Coffee and a Mac" got me thinking about the magazines that I really love and rely on for good ideas and inspiration.

Cookie Magazine is one of my very favorites as it's one of the few parenting magazines that assumes women retain their sense of style, interests and taste for adventure after they have children. Cookie also assumes that we want to be the best parents we can be, so it's written like good advice from a girlfriend rather than a laundry list of things I could do better.

For a laugh read this article "The Pink Dress," and you'll get a sense for what this magazine is about.


This magazine also tackles a topic that's near and dear to my heart -- keeping the family home stylish, comfortable and healthy, and keeping your sense of humor while you're at it.

(Rug from Pedlar's Webstore)

I'm sure Cookie will survive, but just in case, please pick one up at your newsstand or better yet, subscribe. If they fold, I'll really miss my Cookies in bed.

Where Does a Busy Mom Find Inspiration?

I believe that inspiration is an essential component to creativity, and I believe that creativity is an essential component to creating a happy and fun home for my family.

Here's the problem: in a house like mine, it's easy to get caught up in covering the basics, skimming the surface and just getting through the day. I could spend weeks without seeing or doing anything inspiring if I let myself.

I got any early start yesterday and spent the day on location in St. Helena shooting beautiful spreads in a beautiful house.

Watch this video for a glimpse of the location. That experience should hold me for awhile.

On the weeks I'm not so lucky, I have to work a little harder to find my inspiration. Good sources are:
The Local Farmer's Market

Mine is in Danville, yours can be found at the Local Harvest website.
Experiencing the beautiful colors, happy people and delicious smells are my favorite way to start my weekend. Because of my regular trips to the Farmer's Market, I use a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables in my kitchen decor. The colors look pretty and my children are reminded to eat an apple occasionally.

The Local Flower Market

Mine is in San Francisco, yours can be found on the CitySearch website just by typing "flower market" and your city name.
On the days I'm lucky enough to start my day at the San Francisco Flower Market, creativity reigns! Regular visits to the flower market inspired the garden in the windowsill of my kitchen. Katie is in charge of helping JP take good care of that garden.

Any Museum

In San Francisco, there are hundreds of beautiful museums to choose from. Museums in your city can be found at the Museums in the USA website.

A recent trip to the deYoung to see the Dale Chihuly exhibit inspired me to build a wall like this in Sun Valley for my quilts, blankets and throws, which are in constant use in that house:

I'll be working on that when we're on vacation next week.

A trip to the SFMoMA with Andie to see a Rothko exhibit reminded me that I need to do some curating of the Furber Family Museum of Modern Art. Katie has yet to have her art displayed in the hallway with the other masterpieces.


Today's inspiring project will be a trip to the local craft store for paint, then a session with the artist, then an installation of the artist's works. The true inspiration, though, will come from the happy smile on Katie's cute face when she sees her works hanging with the other artists.

You Can't Curl Up with a Cup of Coffee and a Mac

I love the web for all it's obvious great qualities, but I am starting to worry that magazines and newspapers will become obsolete sooner that I ever thought. One of my favorite hometown newspapers The Seattle Post-Intelligencer and one of my favorite magazines Domino both folded earlier this year. There's a website now called Magazine DeathPool that documents all the magazines going under. And most horrifying: when New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. was asked at a conference in October of last year whether the New York Times would still be a print product in ten years he answered "The heart of the answer must be (that) we can't care." Sounds pretty vague to me. Am I going to have to read the Style section online in ten years at www.graylady.com? No thanks.

I love everything about magazines and newspapers, especially the artisanship that goes into the creation of them. I think printed matter forces a standard of journalism that's sometimes lacking online. I like the ritual of sitting down with a cup of coffee and a magazine. I love the way the pages smell and feel in my hands. I love big pretty pictures. And pretty pictures printed on heavy paper -- even better.

Apart from all that, though, magazines and newspapers are a very big part of my decorating strategy in my house, and I'm very worried about what I'll do if they are no longer at my disposal whenever I need them:

Magazines are great space fillers in book cases and once you put them away, they need very little maintenance. Perfect for a working mom with very little time.


A stack of magazines on the coffee table looks great and doesn't break when knocked over by the family dog when he executes a sliding stop at the end of the hall and crashes into the coffee table. Just an example of what goes on in my family room.


All the books collected over the years by adults and children alike can also be great space fillers, and that one book with the weird cover can blend right in when covered in newspaper.


Magazines and newspapers have been my signature gift wrap for as long as I've had kids.

If I have to start shopping for and stocking wrapping paper, something else is going to have to come off my to do list.

And last, but certainly not least, having print all over the house reminds my kids to read. Everywhere they look there's a magazine, a newspaper or a book that they can pick up anytime. The quiet moments when Andie, Jack and I to curl up with our magazines (Domino for me, Seventeen for Andie, Sports Illustrated for Jack) and read with the TV off may be rare, but they're memorable. I don't quite see that happening with the Kindle or selections from the Internet Public Library.

Sit Loose in the Saddle of Life by Guest Blogger Laurie's Mom

My lovely daughter, Laurie, has asked me to write about how to keep a home flexible enough for grownups, and still be family friendly when the grandchildren come to visit. Whew, what a relief, one of my main goals these days is to have a home that the whole family “feels at home in”….maybe it is working.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a much different grandmother than I was as a mother. I can sum my difference up in one word RELAXED. As Laurie’s dad and I have worked through the aging process we have discovered we passed through stages:

Stage 1: Where do we go from here?
As newlyweds it took us a while to figure out that we were responsible for ourselves…paying bills, chores, ………..yikes!!! Once we got that figured out, we moved on to………

Stage 2: Accumulate Stuff
You know the stuff I am talking about…sofas, kitchen tables, bedspreads, more Tupperware, than we need…and on and on.

Stage 3: What do I do with this Stuff?
We spent many years managing the house and stuff in it constantly reminding the girls to pick up their rooms, cleaning our stuff, and putting it away again. Parents note….do not do that…the kids grow up and leave soon enough and then you will have a clean empty house.

Stage 4: Looking at the Stuff and remembering
The girls are gone; we are just the two of us. Sitting in the house looking at the memories and longing for the days that have passed.

Stage 5: Get on with the rest of your life
Even though you still remember the gift of raising your children, it is time to figure out what to do with the rest of your life. Solution: Clean out; Clean out; Clean out what you accumulated in stages 1,2, and 3. The girls had their own homes, so we packed the car and delivered all their stuff and gave it back to them. The rest was donated.

Stage 6: Redecorate remembering ….LESS IS MORE
The more you have, the more you have to clean, reorganize and think about. Now we only buy what we need and use what we have. Our whole philosophy in life follows this motto.

Stage 7: Gentle Grandparenting
Our five grandchildren fill our hearts and we try to show them…not with “stuff” but with fun. We try to have a home where they can come and enjoy themselves and still be kids.


When the small ones come, we put away any stuff that might make us anxious if they touch it!!!

Once we make that sweep of the house, we make an agenda. We ask them ahead of time if there is anything special they really want to do. We try to keep the list simple but interesting and fun. Katie likes to walk in the cactus garden with grandpa; Andie likes to go to movies; Jack wants to be a “guy”.

I usually plan one MFO (Mandatory Family Outing). All members must participate and I give everyone lots of notice. Last time we got together, I over did it and planned two MFOs…….oops!!

Picnics: I believe everything tastes better outside. Granted, we live in AZ where the weather usually permits eating outside on most days. A picnic only takes a blanket and food. We have picnicked on grass by the side of the road; at parks, in the backyard. One time, when it was pouring outside, we threw the blanket over the kitchen table and called it an indoor picnic.


We do have some rules but not many. Everyone must use a napkin; preferably on their lap. Jack did make me rethink the importance of the napkin on the lap when he asked me why he should put it on his lap, when it was closer to his mouth when he needed it if he left it on the table. We also don’t allow cell phone talking or texting at the table. Okay, I am flexible on that too..they can talk and text if they excuse themselves from the table. Allie usually has many excused absences during dinner.

Send the parents on a “DATE”. Kids behave differently when their parents are around. My mom used to tell me that about the girls…I just brushed her off.

I’m sorry mom, I get it now.

Thank You Uncle Sam

In the midst of all the depressing financial reports, JP and I received some great news from our accountant: we're getting a rather big tax refund.

Glory Hallelujah, we can finally replace the carpet in the bedrooms! That carpet has seen us through many Furber family events: it was here when we brought Katie home from the hospital, it has been with us through hundreds of Friday movie nights, it has been spilled on, barfed on, and walked on with muddy shoes. Thanks for the memories, but good riddance.

The research now starts on what to replace it with that will look great and be durable enough to handle three kids, a dog with the occasional bout of incontinence, and Jack's bare feet after he spends hours in the driveway shooting hoops with no shoes on.

I've ruled out broadloom carpet because that's what I have now and it's a mess, Berber because Jasper will no doubt pull the loops out with his teeth or toenails, and hardwood because we don't have radiant heat in the bedrooms so the floors get cold. I've narrowed it down to three choices that are all sustainable, durable, stain resistant and in keeping with the general wabi-sabiness of my house:

FLOR tiles



Seagrass Wall to Wall



Cork Flooring


All three will look great in my house and will stand up to all the abuse that my family will inflict upon the flooring once it's installed. And all three will be immensely better than the yucky mess that's in my bedrooms now. That's one family heirloom I'll be glad to be rid of.

I'm leaning heavily toward seagrass, as it will look the best with our decor. I'll be standing watch at the mailbox with cell phone in hand, ready to dial Diablo Flooring the minute our refund arrives.

Stow or Show?

That is the eternal question in a house full of people and stuff. Do you assign a place for everything, and put everything in it's place, or do you let it all hang out? Who knows. But at the Furber house, it's a combination of the two.

Because I think stacks of books, piles of white napkins, rows of glasses or baskets of photographs can be some of the prettiest accessories in my house, I've always been a big fan of open storage. My dining room is a museum of simple everyday objects that I think are beautiful:

However, not everything in a house with three kids is so beautiful, or easy to organize. I recommend a simple Q&A to decide whether to show or stow:

Would you want to look at it every day for the rest of your life?
If yes, then proudly display it.
If no, then tuck it away in a built in, a closet, or invest in a very pretty piece of furniture that has lots of storage and fill it up! Last year I bought this chest for my entryway:

My husband rolled his eyes at how frivolous (and kind of expensive) it was, but that did not deter me, and now I have five big drawers that I can fill up with whatever I want. The possibilities are so vast, I still haven't decided what I'm going to use it for. I need to decide quickly, though. We seem to have a squatter's rights system of claiming storage in our house and I fear if I don't designate a purpose soon, I'll find it filled up with dog toys, old Golf Digests, or Legos.

Maybe I Need a Backup Plan

In order to secure my retirement, I've been planning to invent a universal charger that works with all rechargeable electronic devices. As retirement grows closer though, I'm realizing that I may not have the mental capacity to invent such an item for the approximately 100 million devices that need charging at any given time in my home. And I've just learned that someone has beat me to it. A new universal adapter is in the works and will be introduced in 2012 -- glory hallelujah.

I'll be first in line in 2012 to get my new universal adapter. Until then, we've got all of the following devices in regular use at all times in the Furber house:

Two Blackberries
One cell phone
Five cameras
Five iPods
One DSLite and one Gameboy (both Jack's)
Various remote control cars, planes and helicopters

And that's not counting all the things that only come out occasionally and therefore are separated from their chargers and become useless after a few months.

In order to keep the chargers at the ready, and keep my house from becoming a jungle of plugs, wires and devices snaking out from every available outlet, I've devised a system that works pretty well:

The big kids each have recharging stations in their rooms with enough plugs to handle all the devices used regularly by that child. Andie has this one for her phone, iPod and camera:

She likes it because she can close the lid and it looks nice on her desk.

Jack has this one for his gameboys, his iPod, and his remote control fleet:

He likes it because he can put pictures of cool cars, or whatever else is his current interest, in the front.

JP and I keep our chargers in our cars so our phones and iPods can be charging while we're driving.

For those things that aren't constantly in use or charging, we have a color coding system that works great: we mark each electronic thing with a sticker, and it's adapter with the same sticker, so we can match them up. We've been known to mark things with valentine stickers, basketball stickers, alphabet stickers. It doesn't really matter what kind we use, as long as we have two of them.

Every once in awhile I have to go through my house and tighten up the screws on our organizational system by unplugging things from random outlets and putting them back where I like them. But for the most part order reigns, and our system will hold us for the next three years until I can sleep on the sidewalk outside Best Buy to get my universal charger when it comes out.

One More Thing Your Children Will Thank You For

I'm a huge fan of displaying photos. I think they add life and personality to my house, especially the candid shots of the kids. My favorite thing to do is to enlarge the close-ups and frame them in 24x36 poster frames. Those little faces are so cute, I just can't get enough of them.

While it's tempting just to rush through the framing projects, this is one place where it's best to plan ahead and take your time. I've learned a lot over the years through trial and error about photo preservation. My friend Clay has also been a good resource for me for photo etiquette, as he has a vast collection of family photos that goes back many years. It takes much more work to do it right, but the results are worth the effort. Here is a list of the highlights:

When framing photos that are valuable to you, use acid free mats and photo safe materials. While you can purchase inexpensive frames just about anywhere, they're rarely the best choice for your pictures. Good sources that I like for well-priced museum quality frames are Pottery Barn and Exposures.

Use reproductions when you can, and store your original photos . I make copies of most of my photos and frame the copies rather than framing the photos themselves. Kinko's is a great resource for really high quality reproductions.

If you choose to frame your photos, rather than reproductions, don't hang them in the sunlight. The only thing that does more damage to an original photo than sunlight is a toddler with a crayon.

Everyone tells you to label your pictures, but no one reminds you to use a photo-safe pen. Using a regular pen can damage a photo beyond repair. And for goodness sake, don't write on the front of your photos with anything!

If you're like me and can't manage to get your photos into archival albums, at least store them in archival storage boxes so they can be protected from dust, light, kids and dogs.

When you hand your photo collection down to your children, be sure to pass on the rules of preservation also. They'll probably roll their eyes, but they'll thank you for it later.

Design Trends that are Great for the Family Home

Those of us decorating family homes can sometimes find that we pass on many design trends either because they're impractical for our lifestyle, or because we just don't have the time to pay attention to them. There are a few current design trends that I think are perfect for the busy family lifestyle. In fact, you may find you're in fashion already:

Eclectic Chic
Re-emergence of styles where furniture and decor is mixed and matched to suit the homeowner's personality is perfect for the busy family. Styles like Hollywood Regency are designed to showcase things a homeowner (or family) has collected over a lifetime. I wouldn't recommend committing entirely to a specific look like Hollywood Regency, as that's a lot of work. But I would recommend celebrating the return of eclectic design and proudly displaying those things you love, but have tucked away because you don't think they're stylish.


Artisan Decor
Appreciation for the artisan, and collecting hand-crafted products for the home is back in a big way. Any turtle shell, macaroni necklace, and pottery bowl made by my children can now be displayed proudly for it's artisanship.


World Design
Merging of multi-cultural designs - inspired from cultures and nations across the globe - is a great way to add personality to your home and also to expose your children to a more worldly point of view on culture and on design. And it's very fashionable these days.


Simple Beauty
There seems to be a new appreciation for simplicity, which is perfect for the family home. The fewer things to dust, the better.


And last, but not least, my favorite The Lived-in Look
The days of the uptight and perfect home seem to be behind us, at least for now. Casual and a little rumpled is the look of the moment.

Finally! My unmade bed is a fashion statement.

Just Like a Restaurant, but without the Waiters

I've been hearing some complaints from moms like myself lately about the durability of the plates and glasses in their kitchen. For them, and everyone else who has high traffic in the kitchen, I have some helpful advice: pretend your kitchen is a restaurant and stock it accordingly.

Restaurants typically use porcelain or stoneware plates because they don't chip or break easily, and they can survive millions of trips through the dishwasher. Don't confuse porcelain with china -- I'm talking heavy, thick porcelain plates. I think the best source for really durable white plates is Williams Sonoma.
They have Buffalo China, American made dinnerware still used in many restaurants:

And Apilco, a beautiful and heavy french porcelain that's perfect for a busy kitchen:

For their glassware, restaurants typically use pressed glass because of it's durability. Blown glass, even the heavy mexican variety looks pretty, but is prone to breaking and chipping. My favorite glass is the restaurant pint jar:

They're big, they're hard to break, and they stack in your cupboard. At AbestKitchen you can get two dozen of them for $46, so you can even break a few.

Probably the most angst inducing item in the family kitchen's cupboard is the wine glass. Even a working mom likes to have a glass of wine once in a while. However, if the thought of exposing your stemware to wagging tails, flailing arms and the occasional flying soccer ball raises your blood pressure, then Schott Zweisel is the glass for you.

It's virtually unbreakable. This video shows some of the tests that the company performs on the glassware to ensure durability -- nothing compared to what goes on in my house, but it's a start.

I've personally whacked a Schott Zweisel bordeaux glass on the edge of my office desk to conduct my own product quality test, and was unable to break it. Perfect.

My husband and I have had the same two dozen white porcelain dinner plates in our cupboard since we were married 17 years ago, and haven't broken a single one. Those regular Suburban Zen readers who are familiar with what goes on in the Furber house will find that shocking.

I can't say the same for my wine glasses, but that's a post for another day. And maybe another blog.