Sit Loose in the Saddle of Life by Guest Blogger Laurie's Mom

My lovely daughter, Laurie, has asked me to write about how to keep a home flexible enough for grownups, and still be family friendly when the grandchildren come to visit. Whew, what a relief, one of my main goals these days is to have a home that the whole family “feels at home in”….maybe it is working.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a much different grandmother than I was as a mother. I can sum my difference up in one word RELAXED. As Laurie’s dad and I have worked through the aging process we have discovered we passed through stages:

Stage 1: Where do we go from here?
As newlyweds it took us a while to figure out that we were responsible for ourselves…paying bills, chores, ………..yikes!!! Once we got that figured out, we moved on to………

Stage 2: Accumulate Stuff
You know the stuff I am talking about…sofas, kitchen tables, bedspreads, more Tupperware, than we need…and on and on.

Stage 3: What do I do with this Stuff?
We spent many years managing the house and stuff in it constantly reminding the girls to pick up their rooms, cleaning our stuff, and putting it away again. Parents note….do not do that…the kids grow up and leave soon enough and then you will have a clean empty house.

Stage 4: Looking at the Stuff and remembering
The girls are gone; we are just the two of us. Sitting in the house looking at the memories and longing for the days that have passed.

Stage 5: Get on with the rest of your life
Even though you still remember the gift of raising your children, it is time to figure out what to do with the rest of your life. Solution: Clean out; Clean out; Clean out what you accumulated in stages 1,2, and 3. The girls had their own homes, so we packed the car and delivered all their stuff and gave it back to them. The rest was donated.

Stage 6: Redecorate remembering ….LESS IS MORE
The more you have, the more you have to clean, reorganize and think about. Now we only buy what we need and use what we have. Our whole philosophy in life follows this motto.

Stage 7: Gentle Grandparenting
Our five grandchildren fill our hearts and we try to show them…not with “stuff” but with fun. We try to have a home where they can come and enjoy themselves and still be kids.


When the small ones come, we put away any stuff that might make us anxious if they touch it!!!

Once we make that sweep of the house, we make an agenda. We ask them ahead of time if there is anything special they really want to do. We try to keep the list simple but interesting and fun. Katie likes to walk in the cactus garden with grandpa; Andie likes to go to movies; Jack wants to be a “guy”.

I usually plan one MFO (Mandatory Family Outing). All members must participate and I give everyone lots of notice. Last time we got together, I over did it and planned two MFOs…….oops!!

Picnics: I believe everything tastes better outside. Granted, we live in AZ where the weather usually permits eating outside on most days. A picnic only takes a blanket and food. We have picnicked on grass by the side of the road; at parks, in the backyard. One time, when it was pouring outside, we threw the blanket over the kitchen table and called it an indoor picnic.


We do have some rules but not many. Everyone must use a napkin; preferably on their lap. Jack did make me rethink the importance of the napkin on the lap when he asked me why he should put it on his lap, when it was closer to his mouth when he needed it if he left it on the table. We also don’t allow cell phone talking or texting at the table. Okay, I am flexible on that too..they can talk and text if they excuse themselves from the table. Allie usually has many excused absences during dinner.

Send the parents on a “DATE”. Kids behave differently when their parents are around. My mom used to tell me that about the girls…I just brushed her off.

I’m sorry mom, I get it now.

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