Resolution #3 -- Read More Than We Watch TV

This resolution shouldn't be too hard: we all love to read, we all know how, our house is filled with books, and I have no clue how to operate the TVs in our house.

In a recent blog post for Benjamin Moore, my friend Clay turned me onto bookmooch.com, a free book swapping service that allows you to trade your used books for used books submitted by other reading enthusiasts. Bookmooch has books in all categories: children's books for Katie, romance for Andie, adventure for Jack, history and biography for JP, and just about anything else for me.

I'll be sending my first package of books off to bookmooch.com this week and acquiring a copy of Ann Patchett's The Magician's Assistant to carry me through February. Furber family, put in your requests. I'm also hiding the remotes this week.

To Resolve, or Not to Resolve? That is the Question

New Year's Day came and went with little fanfare at my house this year. We all woke up, ate our breakfast, wrote thank you notes, had our first visit to the Cheesecake Factory, went to a movie, worked on some projects, packed for my trip to Florida (I left the next day), then settled down for the night. For some reason, the topic of New Year's Resolutions never came up.

Now that I'm in Islamorada, on a beautiful beach in a beautiful historic house with chic, British colonial decor, I've been inspired. I've decided to make only New Year's resolutions that will make my family happy, or make my home a happier place.

Watch this space for resolutions throughout the month of January. And wish me luck in keeping them!

A Glimpse Into the Future

As I roam around my house generally addressing the decorating dilemmas of a working mother with three kids, I sometimes wonder what my house will look like when my kids are grown up and I no longer need to decorate around them.

I got a glimpse into (what I hope is) the future last night when JP and I saw the movie "It's Complicated." The movie was fine, but the real star for me was the situation and the set design.

Firstly, Meryl Streep plays Jane Adler, a woman with three grown children who look remarkably like what I imagine Andie, Jack and Katie will look like when they're grown up.

Secondly, Jane lives in a house that's the cozy, comfortable, casual version of my future dreamhouse. She has a beautiful kitchen that's stylish and slightly messy:

She doesn't seem to have many extra rooms, but those she has are big and filled with comfortable furniture:

Her house is filled with an eclectic mix of objects and furniture that appear to have been assembled over a lifetime:

And she has a gorgeous vegetable garden on her property that no doubt provides an endless supply of produce to her beautiful kitchen:

I can do without the divorce and all the other drama, but I can certainly imagine JP in Jane Adler's garden, and myself in her kitchen, cooking for Andie, Jack and Katie when they come home for a visit.

The Return of Suburban Zen, and the Daily Shower

As you may have noticed, I have been neglecting Suburban Zen lately. I know for certain my Mom has noticed, as she sends me a message each Sunday morning reminding me that she's missing Zen. The Furbers have been so busy living our fun and happy life this summer, there has been no time to write about it.

Well Mom, school starts tomorrow, and so does the discipline that rules during the school year, so no more lounging around enjoying the Summer for me. Tomorrow marks the start of:

Regular bathing so we don't have to ask "when was the last time you had a shower?"
Sleeping in pajamas every night rather than the occasional falling into bed fully dressed
Wearing clean clothes every day
Regular meals that loosely follow the food pyramid
Homework in the afternoons
No TV on the weeknights
Making lunches after dinner
Tidying up the house before we go to bed
Regular bedtime for all Furbers

Pay heed, Furber children. That list is for you.

With all that activity, there's plenty to write about, so look forward to the return of Zen's regular schedule of once or twice a week coming soon.

The Great Cinnamon Bun Quest of 2009

Occasionally, Suburban Zen wanders off the chosen topic of interior design for families and into the weeds on some randomly selected tangent. This is one of those times.

Early in the year, Jack came home from his best friend Jake's house one night and said "Why did I have to come home so early? Mrs. Lawrentz was making cinnamon rolls." Now I have to admit, in my head my response was

"Geez, Sheryl, you already have the most polite child in the town of Alamo, a house that's (according to Jack) a million times more fun than ours, and now you must make homemade cinnamon rolls on a weeknight? Dial it down a notch, girl. I can't keep up."

But out loud I said "Sounds yummy. Let's make some this weekend." That exchange developed into the Great Cinnamon Bun Quest of 2009. So far this year, I have made six different kinds of cinnamon rolls, looking for a recipe that's simple, delicious, and doesn't take an entire afternoon to make. For the benefit of Suburban Zen readers, here are the highlights:

Williams-Sonoma Cinnamon Roll Mix
Never did figure out what I did wrong, but the resulting product looked more like dog biscuits than cinnamon buns.

Martha Stewart's Truck Stop Cinnamon Rolls
The recipe calls for 10-13 cups of flour. Need I elaborate?

I was planning to try the Barefoot Contessa's Easy Sticky Bun recipe, but realized my definition of easy and hers were vastly different when I read that the recipe takes two days to make.

After much trial and error, I've found that the Holy Grail of cinnamon rolls is:

Buns made from Pillsbury Hot Roll Mix with two tablespoons of sugar added to it
Williams-Sonoma's Cream Cheese Frosting recipe, which I discovered when I made it for their Sweet Lemon Cupcakes and used the leftovers on my Cinnamon Rolls the next day.

Yummy indeed, and they can be made in less than an hour. Since the Great Cinnamon Bun Quest of 2009 began, I learned from Sheryl that she was making cinnamon rolls from a can that night. But her house is still way more fun than ours.

Home Gym - 2009 Edition

When I was in high school, I thought I'd be an architect when I grew up. In my art classes I drew many versions of my dream house, and even designed architectural plans and built a model for my dream house as my Senior AP Art final project. In the early design stages, my dream house always included a workout room. As I've mentioned many times in Suburban Zen, my Mom was ahead of her time, and we had a stationary bike in our basement in the 80's. I rode that bike every night, and a workout room filled with equipment seemed like the ultimate luxury to me.

Now that I am actually grown up, and can buy and furnish my dream house, we don't have a workout room, but we do have some pretty fancy equipment:

A pair of Pumas that I use to walk to the donut store most Sunday mornings with Katie.
A bike that I ride around the neighborhood, to the middle school, to the Farmer's Market, or to Lawrence's for a cheeseburger on a weekend afternoon.
A large dog that I chase around the coffee table when he steals the pillows off my sofa.
Same large dog that pulls JP around the neighborhood, simultaneously strengthening his arms and improving his cardiovascular health.
A 40 pound five year old child who still likes to be picked up occasionally.
A swimming pool in the backyard that's mostly used for floating, but now and then used for swimming laps.
A basketball hoop, two skateboards and a scooter that keep Jack as physically fit as IronMan.

No one room to keep it all in, as all the rooms are filled with children. That wasn't part of my plan when I was in high school planning my dream house, but our 2009 version of the home gym works just fine.

Road Trip!

The Furber family set out for our annual Easter vacation road trip to Sun Valley last night. Typically, we take two days to make the trip: one day to Winnemucca then next day on the home stretch. This time we decided on a whim to pull an all nighter, so we left @ 9:30 pm Friday and arrived @ 9am Saturday.

The prep for the road trip was very easy this time because we packed in a flurry and the kids slept the whole way. Usually it takes a little longer and we prepare our secret weapon -- the road trip bag.


A few years ago for Christmas, Santa gave the Furber kids a canvas bag filled with everything three kids need to occupy themselves on a twelve hour road trip:
Clipboards
Paper
Pens, pencils and crayons
An Etch-a-Sketch
A Rubik's Cube
Travel Scrabble, Battleship and Operation
Card Games
A Pocket IQ Test that we've all failed
Electronic 20 Questions and BlackJack
Travel pillows, cozy plush throws and headphones for everyone

After every trip we clean out the road bag, tuck everything back in and get it ready to go for the next trip. Furber kids are quiet and happy the whole way (mostly), and the outbursts and frustration are kept to a minimum.

I wish Santa would hook me up with a road trip bag of my own.

Art Schmart

It's funny that my last post contained so many references to art. The truth is, I have no art in my house. When my husband and I bought our first house, we thought we'd collect some art when we got more established, but we started collecting kids instead.

Now my house is the best kind of gallery, filled with memories of our family's life. We collect photos, maps, cards, art made by our kids, and proudly frame and hang it all. And I mean all.

Some of our very favorite installations are:
Our entry hall that's completely covered in photos of the kids. The gallery has evolved with time, so it's a fun time capsule showing the kids at all ages and stages. We always frame in black frames, with black or white mats, and convert our photos to black and white so we can add to the gallery whenever have something new.

Four 4' square frames in our living room with our favorite pieces by our house artists Andie, Jack and Katie. When presented in the right way, kids' art can look like beautiful pieces of modern art -- great color, and kids seem to have a natural eye for composition.

A world map my husband gave me for Christmas a few years ago. He marked all the places we've visited, together and apart, with different colored pins before he gave it to me. The map has come in mighty handy in our elementary school phase for geography lessons, and the kids love to hear our travel stories. For now anyway.

A big pinboard at the end of the hall where we pin postcards, letters, leaves collected by Katie on her nature walks, stuff from our various roadtips. We add to and subtract from the pinboard all the time, so it's a rotating chronical of our family adventures. It's very fun to stand in front of the pinboard and meditate on our happy family life.

I've resigned myself to the fact that, unless one of my children grows up to be a professional artist, my art collection will remain only sentimental in value. However, I love the confidence my kids get from seeing their photos and art proudly displayed in our house, and the walk to the bedroom each night past the entry hall, the living room, the world map, and the family pinboard is better than any gallery walk I can imagine.

Get the Hose!

My husband and I have always said our ideal flooring would be cement with a drain in the middle.

However, so far that hasn't really fit with the casual, comfy home we're trying to build for our family. Maybe for the grandkids. So for now, we use rugs like everyone else, and they tend to move through stages just like our kids do:
When my children were tiny, I wanted my flooring to be super soft so they could roll around on it.
When they were a little older, I wanted rugs with pretty patterns so the kids could spill on them and the spills were invisible (for the most part.)
Now that they're even older, I like natural flooring because it's very durable, always looks great and is very easy to clean.

Lately, I've had a new selection criteria: I want my flooring to be free of chemicals and any other artificial stuff so the kids can lounge around on the floor and I don't have to worry. There are lots of good natural rugs on the market now, and they're very easy to find:

Starting with the youngest lifestage, babies crawling on the floor, I've always loved Sheepskin rugs. They're super soft, they're organic, they don't shed, you can wash them, and kids love them. When my daughter Andie was a new baby I always had a sheepskin in front of the big mirror in the bathroom so she could look at herself in the mirror while I showered.

I still have them all over my house -- right now my little Katie is asleep on a sheepskin rug on the floor next to me.


Natural flooring is great for families like mine, and can be easily found in all ranges of quality, from a natural resource like Gaiam to a big retailer like Pottery Barn. Look for the softer sustainable materials like jute and seagrass -- they feel better on your feet than sisal. If your natural fiber rug is backed with latex, this is one place where I'd recommend a synthetic material. Natural latex breaks down over time into a fine white powder, whereas synthetic lasts as long as your rug will, which is a long time.


Gaiam also has this super cool shag rug that's made from unused t-shirt remnants, a by-product of the garment industry.


A new option on the scene is Flor tiles. They have some nice natural fiber options, are made up partly of recycled materials, and don't smell like new carpet because they have the lowest VOC in the industry. FLOR tiles are the next best thing to my hoseable cement floor fantasy.


Another option to consider is a Vintage rug. Vintage rugs can be very expensive, but there are many reasons to love them: they're beautiful and can be handed down through your family, they have intricate patterns and deep colors so they hide all your family's sins, and they already show the signs of a lifetime of use. Very wabi-sabi. Another nice benefit to a vintage rug is the environmental protection aspect -- not producing something new is the best way to limit the impact of consumer goods manufacturing on Mother Nature. It's always good to love your Mother.


Until I get my drain, I'll be settling for natural flooring, sheepskins and will be shopping for a vintage kilim for my living room. But I'll be dreaming of that day when someone makes a mess and I can just shout to my husband "get the hose!"

Old is the New New

I seem to be on a green roll, so I think I'll keep going, as I think building a healthy home and doing what we can to preserve the environment for our children is top of mind for many mothers like me.

One of the tenets of building a green home that I relate to the most is reuse. I love to use items for something other than their intended use -- vases for bars of soap, stepstools as side tables, big troughs for photographs -- so I'm always looking for vintage items in flea markets or antique dealers that I can put to use. I also love reclaimed wood furniture. Pieces made from reclaimed wood have a patina that I like because, from the day you introduce them into your home, they look like they've been there for a lifetime. A nice side benefit from reclaimed wood furniture is the wabi-sabi aspect (see post "My House Isn't a Mess, It's Wabi-Sabi" on 6/1/08) -- wear and tear inflicted by my family of five only makes my reclaimed wood pieces look better. I'm very grateful to the green movement for making reclaimed wood furniture much easier to find. Here are some of my favorite resources:

Cliff Spencer makes furniture from reclaimed wine oak that's beautiful. I especially like their Parson's style dining table. It's a bundle, but I think if you're going to make an investment in a piece of furniture, a dining table is a good choice. You'll have it forever, and the story of shared memories around that table will follow it as you hand it down to your children.



Andre Joyau is a designer in Brooklyn who makes beautiful, large scale furniture pieces. For those who have children old enough, and don't have to worry about safety as much (see post "Coffee Tables That Will Save You a Trip to the ER" 5/29/08), the coffee table here is fabulous.

I don't think Andre Joyau has a website, but design blogs like DesignSponge regularly pick up their product, so you can always find an address and phone number.

Alan Vogel Designs is another resource for beautiful tables made from reclaimed barnwood.



Staples Cabinet Makers has such a great story, you'll want to pick up the phone and order something right away after watching this video. You can really feel the artisan's passion as he talks about his craft.


I'll just take a moment here to send a personal message to my Mother-in-Law: Linda, you are right -- everything can be re-used for something. Can I have my old picnic table back? I know I can use that wood for something!

Where Can I Get a Cute Gas Mask That Goes With My Decor?

The EPA has stated that indoor air can be up to three times more polluted than outdoor air because of emissions from paint, building materials, furniture, carpet, adhesives, among other things. Seriously?! As if I wasn't tossing and turning enough already.

Because of all the press about indoor air pollution, paint is a topic that's received plenty of attention lately. Fortunately for those of us trying to keep a stylish, family friendly and healthy home, many paint manufacturers have jumped on the bandwagon quickly. Non-toxic paints are readily available everywhere from large paint manufacturers like Benjamin Moore, to smaller labels. A nice side benefit is that the demand for non-toxic paint has spawned interest in some smaller, more entrepreneurial paint brands. I always like it when the little guys benefit from a media blitz.

If you've recently seen the "Sex and the City" movie and are thinking about painting all your millwork black like I am, you're also probably thinking about how to choose a non-toxic paint. Here are a few things you should know:

There are three categories of non-toxic paints: natural, low VOC and zero VOC.

Natural paints are made from all natural ingredients. Water based natural paints give off no smell, oil based natural paints usually have a nice fragrance from the natural oils that are used. Aglaia is a brand I like because they have interior paint for both walls and millwork and their color palette is beautiful.
Aglaia Natural Paints

Zero VOC is any paint with 5 grams per litre or less of volatile organic compounds. This type of paint is easier to find, and many big brands have a Zero VOC option in their line. I like Green Plant Paints because of their commitment to small scale production. It's a little harder to find, but the quality is really nice.

Low VOC is any paint with 200 grams per litre or less of volatile organic compounds. I like Benjamin Moore's Aura line, because their range of color grea , and the paint is formulated not to exceed 100 grams per litre.

Another nice benefit of using non-toxic paint is that it's not deemed hazardous waste, so is much easier deal with when you're finished. Who has time to find a HASMAT site to dispose of the leftovers?

Better yet, EarthEasy.com recommends using the BUD method when buying and using paint:
Buy only as much as you need, so there's no waste.
Use everything you buy.
Dispose responsibly -- if you do have leftovers, donate to a local charity who can use it rather than throwing it away.

Organic Bedding Survival Guide

Yesterday's post on the health benefits of houseplants got me thinking about the healthy home in general.

Understanding all the volumes of information available on the different aspects of creating a healthy home for a family is such a challenge. Isn't enough that we've got to learn 4th grade geometry all over again? Must we also be subject matter experts on organic farming, formaldehyde and toxins emitted by our paint and furniture?

An easy place to start is with bedding. Anything that directly touches the skin should be as chemical free as possible and, with the proliferation of organic bedding in the market, any house can be completely outfitted with organic bedding. Most bedding is made from cotton. My friend Pallavi, who knows much more about organic cotton than I ever will, tells me that conventional cotton is one of agriculture's most chemically-dependent crops. It takes about 1/3 of a pound of chemicals to produce enough conventional cotton to make a t-shirt. Organic cotton is the version of its conventional counterpart grown without pesticides or other chemicals, and uses agricultural methods designed to help sustain the land it grows on. The organic cotton supply is estimated at only .1% of the global cotton production. As demand for organic cotton increases, so will the supply. Click this link for more information on organic farming

Organic cotton, both grown in the US and imported into the US, is strictly regulated by the USDA. That means you can reasonably assume that anything labeled and marketed as organic cotton is in fact organic cotton. If you need more assurance, look for SKAL International certification

There are plenty of great looking organic bedding options in the market now, so there's something for everyone. When you're choosing your organic bedding, remember to consider all the same things you've always considered: thread count, cotton quality, cotton fiber (long staple combed is great -- nice and smooth, won't pill).

Here are some of my favorites:

Pottery Barn has a great collection of patterned organics, plenty of choices and some really nice patterns.


Amenity has some beautiful, large scale patterns that are very stylish.


West Elm has some very pretty neutral organics -- lots of style.

Good Night Naturals is a good resource for higher thread count styles.

Convert your beds to organic bedding, and stay in bed a little longer in the morning. It's good for you!

My Mom Was Ahead of Her Time

I'm always looking for ways to keep my house healthy for my family. It turns out my Mom had one of the secrets all along -- houseplants. My Mom just loved houseplants when I was growing up. Our house was filled with them: spider plants, ferns, shiffaleras, philodendrons. We had them all. I vaguely remember a cross country road trip with my parents that included a houseplant. My Mom was worried the plant would die while we were gone, so it traveled with us and spent each night in our hotel room. But I digress.

Houseplants (and their macrame hangers) were a big trend in the seventies, and had been out of fashion for several years. Now with the resurgance of interest in all things healthy, eco and green, houseplants are making a huge comeback, because they not only look pretty, they have a purpose. According to a research study conducted by NASA scientist BC Wolverton, plants are the most efficient and cost-effective method of cleaning your indoor air.

Research has shown that these 10 plants give you the most bang for your buck:
Areca palm
Reed palm
Dwarf date palm
Boston fern
Janet Craig dracaena
English ivy
Australian sword fern
Peace Lily
Rubber plant
Weeping fig

You should allow one plant for every ten square yards of floor space, which means you need 2-3 plants in the average sized room for good air quality.

Besides keeping the air clean in your house, houseplants offer one more great opportunity to express your personal style. The containers that hold your houseplants can be anything you love:


Galvanized Buckets (Bailey's Home and Garden)


Pretty Glass Vases (Bailey's Home and Garden)


Vintage Sugar Molds (CitySearch your local flea market)


Mexican Dough Bowls (Direct from Mexico)

Just get some good advice from your local nursery on the best way to transplant your plant into your favorite container so it can drain properly.

I'm happy to see houseplants make a comeback, as I love the happy color they bring to the house, the fresh air, and my kids love to water them.

Is it too much to hope, though, that the macrame hangers remain a thing of the past?

My House Isn't a Mess, It's Wabi- Sabi

I made reference to the concept of wabi-sabi a few days ago, and have been thinking about it ever since.

Wabi-sabi is the japanese concept of appreciating the beauty in imperfection and of accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay. Wabi-sabi celebrates cracks and crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind. Through wabi-sabi, we learn to embrace stains, scratches, rust, and frayed edges, and the march of time they represent.

Does that sound like a concept for a working mother of three to embrace, or what?!

Even before the concept of wabi-sabi came into vogue, I unknowingly embraced it. I've always been drawn to things that have interesting stories, show signs of use, and look older than they are.

Now that I have three children in my house, wabi-sabi is the center of my decorating philosophy. I make a point of never buying anything that won't get better with the use of three messy, happy children. My dining table is made of reclaimed planks and has dings, scratches and dents in it. Perfect. The chairs in my family room are red leather and show all the wear and tear of hundreds of movie nights in that room. Love them. The wicker sofa on my front porch came from my mother-in-law and is weathered to show several layers of paint in different colors. Can't beat it.

The neutral carpet in my bedrooms shows all the marks that time, weather and loving use leave behind, but it is not wabi-sabi at all. When I finally get around to it, I'm going to replace the carpet with reclaimed wood floors, then my house will be truly wabi-sabi.

Coffee Tables That Will Save You a Trip to the ER

Ever since my son Jack required eight stitches after hitting his head on our coffee table, I've been on the lookout for a coffee table that can peacefully coexist with a family like mine in a house like mine. These are my favorites:
Lewis Slipcovered Cubes from Pottery Barn. Lots of cute patterns, extra credit for storage, and for the slipcover (see April 27th post on slipcovers -- you know I love them).

Truck Tarp Ottoman from Anthropologie. Super cool, deconstructed styling. Very WabiSabi, so the kids can't mess it up too much.

Alistair Ottoman from Jayson Home and Garden. Poofy for a nice, soft landing. They also have a nice flea market where you can find one of a kind vintage pieces that can be used as coffee tables. Tables in the French or American Empire style are perfect, because tables in that style tend to be round.

Sullivan Ottoman from Pottery Barn. Poofy for a soft landing, and bonus points for leather so it's easy to clean.

I no longer need to buy a new coffee table, as none of my three children have gone near the coffee table in the four years since Jack's injury. However, if my list saves even one Mom a trip to the ER in her pajamas on Halloween when she's ten months pregnant, then I'll be happy.

In praise of slipcovers

Slipcovers are the best! Until my kids are grown up and moved out, I will never have a sofa that's not slipcovered or leather. I especially like Pottery Barn's square arm sofa -- even with slipcovers it's got a contemporary edge that I like. If I didn't work for Pottery Barn, I'd still buy it, it's that cool.

Every few weeks I peel the slipcovers off the two square arm sofas in my family room, wash them in my washing machine and return them to the sofas in super condition. I've had linen slips on my sofas for the last five years, and I love them. No wrinkles, machine washable, nice and light so I can bleach them once in a while. As I said, the best.

The kids eat their snacks on the sofas, put their feet up, lounge all they want, and they always look neat and clean (The sofas. The kids, not so much.)

Where did all this stuff come from?

Leaving the house every morning, I always have two thoughts: I wish I could stay, and I wonder what this place will look like when I get home tonight. My children are like most children -- they have a lot of stuff, and they leave it everywhere.

My husband and I spend countless hours picking up, tripping over, putting away and looking for kid stuff. Because cleaning up and organizing has become our life's work, we take it very seriously, like we would a job. We strategize, we delegate, we review our progress, we evaluate our staff's (I mean our kids') performance. But in the end, we always receive the same rating -- Needs Improvement.

A few of our problem areas:

• The end of our kitchen table is a staging area for all entries and exits, as it's the first surface encountered when anyone enters our house. It's always littered with homework, mail, sometimes shoes. I draw the line at socks though. I've pitched enough fits about socks on the kitchen table that no one dares park their socks there.
• We all love throws. Every time any of the five of us sits down to watch TV, read, or whatever, it's with a throw. The problem is, only two of us know how to properly fold a throw and return it to the cupboard. The rest of us either roll it into a ball and try to wedge that ball into the cupboard, or sometimes just leave it on the floor.

We do have a few things that seem to work for us:

• Once or twice a year, we purge. Sometimes with the kids, but mostly without. My kids don't even ask me now which of their things I've donated to charity, as they know my response is always "tell me what you're missing, and I'll tell you if I donated it."
• We've designated territories where the kids are allowed to be as messy as they want to, and those territories are rarely invaded by the parents. Unless one of us wants to have a heart attack. I'm still scratching my head from a foray into my daughter Andie's closet a few months ago. What does a 12 year old need 6 tiny bottles of ketchup for?

After many years of practice (12 years since our first was born, and the spontaneous generation of stuff began), we still don't have it quite figured out. We know, though, that it's better to laugh than to yell. It will be a blink of an eye before all three kids are grown up, and trying to organize their own houses.

Too bad I won't have any helpful advice for them.